Write their story, $79
Free · the questions we use

24 questions to ask your parents about their life.

In the order that works, with how to run the afternoon. The same list our $79 story is written from.

Have the answers written up, $79

One afternoon · record it on your phone · the story comes back in 2 days

Before you start

Pick an afternoon, not an evening. Sit at the kitchen table, not in front of the television. Put a photo album or a biscuit tin of old photos within reach: when a question stalls, a photo restarts it. Open the voice recorder on your phone, set it face down and forget it. Tell them it is for the grandchildren; it is the one sentence that makes everybody talk.

The 24 questions

Ask them in this order. The first eight are easy and factual; they warm the room. Nine to sixteen are the middle of a life. The last eight are the ones people are glad to have been asked.

  1. Where were you born, and what is the first thing you remember?
  2. What was the house you grew up in like? Who was in it?
  3. What did your mother and father do, and what did they say that you still hear?
  4. What were you like as a child? What got you into trouble?
  5. School: a teacher you remember, and why.
  6. What did you want to be when you grew up?
  7. Your first job, and what it paid.
  8. How did you meet the person you married (or the great friend of your life)?
  9. The wedding, or the day you knew. What went wrong?
  10. The first home you made yourself.
  11. Children, if you had them: the day each arrived, and one story about each.
  12. The hardest year of your life, and what got you through it.
  13. The best year, and why.
  14. A journey you still think about.
  15. Something you made with your hands.
  16. A friend who shaped you.
  17. What did you do for work, really? What were you good at?
  18. A time you were brave.
  19. A food that means home.
  20. What do you believe now that you did not believe at thirty?
  21. What are you proudest of?
  22. Something you would do differently.
  23. What do you want your grandchildren to know about you?
  24. What should the last line of your story be?

How to ask them

Read the question once, then stop talking. The silence after a question is where the good answer is; count to five before you help. When they give a short answer, ask “what happened next?” or “what did it smell like?” rather than a new question. Write down (or let the recording catch) exact phrases: “nobody ever died of a bit of work” is the voice of a whole person, and it is what we write the story in.

When they say “I don't remember”

Say “that's fine” and move on; come back to it after question 19 (a food that means home), which unlocks more childhood memory than any direct question. Dates do not matter; the order of things does. If a question lands badly, drop it. Fourteen good answers make a full story.

What to do with the answers

Type them up, rough, or send the recording. Clare's notes for her mother Peggy were 22 lines of abbreviations, and the seven-chapter sample story came from exactly those. If you want it written: the order form takes the notes or the recording and the story comes back as a print-ready PDF within 2 days, in their voice, nothing invented, $79 (£65 incl. VAT, A$119, C$109).

Questions

How long does the afternoon take?

Two to three hours with a cup of tea in the middle. Most people answer the first twelve in an hour; the second twelve take longer because they are the ones that matter. If they tire, stop and finish another day; the order does not matter.

Should I record it or type it?

Record it on your phone and type nothing. A recording catches the way they say things, which is the voice we write in. If you would rather type, type what they say, not a summary: “he stood on my foot and apologised for the whole next dance” is worth more than “they met at a dance”.

What if they say “I don't remember”?

Move to the next question and come back. Memory works sideways: the food question (19) often unlocks the childhood house (2). A photo album on the table helps more than any question.

Do I need all 24 answered?

No. Fourteen or fifteen good answers make a full story. Clare's sample story was written from notes on 22 of them, some one line long.

What happens to the answers?

If you order the story, we write 1,200 to 3,000 words in their own voice from exactly what they said and nothing else, as a print-ready PDF within 2 days ($79). The answers and the recording are deleted after delivery unless you ask us to keep them for changes.

Have the answers written up, $79 Read the sample